Completely True

The above is a true story, or so I hear. Except that the entirely wrong people are witnessing it. I am nothing if not a distributor of misinformation.

Other potential punchlines were:

“Somewhere far away, Orlando Bloom is experiencing a strong sense of the creeps. More so than usual, I mean.”

“Go on, tell her he’s gay. You know you want to.”

“Finally we get some creepy women in here.”

“I would pay good money to hear a tiny scream and see an arrow fly out of the box into her eye.”

“I’d just walk away, but I’m curious if she’s going to get to second base.”