Reading Time

You can tell a lot about the quality of a story by the opening sentence.

So there I was, sitting on the toilet. The only thing within my reach was the obituaries from the local newspaper. I didn’t expect this would be the source of a chuckle, but I thought I saw something interesting so I picked it up. What drew my eye was an illustration you wouldn’t normally expect in a newspaper, much less on the obituaries page. The picture was entitled “Paladin in Hell” and directly below it was the headline:

I didn’t know much of Sutherland, though I’m sure I own something with his work in it. But I’m not writing this because of him. I’m writing this because of the article, an eighth of its size, right below.

One can’t help but wonder at how many crackpots are shaking their fists in rage at the comparative size of these articles. I mean, not only was Mr. Taylor’s work not related to the heretical expoits of Dungeons and Dragons, not only did he create a new way to introduce children and others to the Bible, but he managed to bring it to life… I assume though the use of cables and lightning storms. And all this is worth barely an inch and a half in the face of an old-school TSR artist.

Not funny-ha-ha, not quite funny-sad, but certainly funny-point-look-at-that-isn’t-that-amusing.