Woah. Shocking.

Can you believe that? What a total surprise! I mean, Nintendo actually putting four face buttons on a portable system? It’s almost too much for my poor mind to bear.

In other news, it seems that the heroes are a tad late in their bid to defend Fort Keep from the forces of evil. Which is just fine because they were well on their way towards failing anyway. I bet none of you saw that coming. Or at least you wouldn’t have if I’d spent more time obfuscating it.